Creating a Tantra School has given me many opportunities to keep developing and integrating my inner union in business. Whilst it has been important to take a lot of action to implement my vision, it has been equally as important to trust the divine, follow internal guidance, infuse my life with joy and find ways to develop a strong, close team. As the lead creator of the school, my masculine ensures everything gets done, holds regular meetings to keep everyone on task and finds the best people for the jobs that we can’t do ourselves. My feminine on the other hand, gently holds the Eliyah “family” with a motherly, supportive, loving energy and keeps the school growing using intuition, trust, surrender and magic in the process.
I remember back to when I really needed help with Eliyah and knew that I could not possibly keep doing all the work that needed to be done, on my own. I surrendered completely to my intuitive guidance and received the message very clearly that Tara was meant to be my event manager (knowing that she had the skills and personality it would take but also knowing that she had a full-time job plus a repetitive strain injury (RSI) – two rather significant obstacles!). I put it to her anyway, trusting the clear message I received, without really questioning or worrying about how it would actually happen.
“Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.”
~ Wayne Dyer
One year later, Tara is not only my event manager, but her and her husband, Antosh, have helped me to turn the Eliyah Tantra School into a thriving global business. The three of us work amazingly well together and our visions consistently come to fruition. Video footage is being compiled, books are being written, online courses are in creation, we are going to India…nothing gets put on the back burner. Why? Because not only do we implement the necessary actions (masculine) we also surrender have faith that everything will flow perfectly, trusting and following divine guidance (feminine). We have the skills and discipline needed (masculine) plus deep respect and trust between us (feminine). We are doing what we love, we each have the inspiration and commitment to do what needs to be done, our intention is aligned, our team work and communication is always harmonious and we each have different predominant archetypal energies that complement each other. What more do you need right? Thank you Spirit! Thank you, universe! Just thinking about how overwhelmed I felt before Tara and Antosh came on board, then feeling into how much easier and more joyful things are now, makes me so teary – and grateful! Grateful for them but also grateful that I trusted my inner guidance.
So, the next time your feminine whispers to you to leave your job, to start working with someone, to take a leap – receive the whisper gracefully. Allow her to show you the way. Let your masculine energy help you bring it to fruition. Be attentive, mindful, determined, focused and on task. When you feel yourself getting out of balance, stop, be patient and listen. This is not the time to work harder and force the solution. This is the time to be quiet, pray, play, meditate, listen to music, tune in, be out in nature, cuddle – whatever gets you back to a balanced place. Then open to receive and your answer will appear. It may not be the answer you were expecting but trust it anyway.
Balancing Masculine and Feminine Approaches
Whether we are in a male or female body, we have both feminine (yin) and masculine (yang) energies within us. It is the union of these opposites that creates balance. It follows that to run a successful business, we need both masculine and feminine energies to be “online” and united. This creates the essential blend of structure, focus, action and discipline; with trust, surrender, intuitive wisdom and receptivity. Both masculine and feminine approaches have strengths and limitations. When someone is dominated by either masculine or feminine approaches, there is a risk that the downsides of that approach will emerge. For example, if we have too much masculine in business, we don’t know how to fill our cup and we end up burning out. Or, we may be fantastic at the structural side of things but terrible when it comes to human relations. If we have too much feminine, we may be waiting for things to happen and trusting, without the capacity to take purposeful actionwithin somewhat of a stricture.
With a balance of masculine and feminine approaches, you get more of the strengths and less of the downsides of each and the result is inner and outer balance.
Masculine energy has typically been revered in business as being more powerful and effective, but thefeminine energy is equally as powerful, just in a different way. It is a more collaborative, intuitive, empathetic, trusting, surrendered, creative approach.
What if we recognised that balancing both feminine and masculine approaches to business, without being dominated by one or the other, leads to success? Below is a table that will help you do so, that if understood and applied will give you great leverage in the work that you do.
|Masculine Approach||Feminine Approach|
|Complete action list with focus and determination||Nurture and nourish the body and heart with regular breaks|
|Commit to a plan||Trust and let go|
|Focus is on work as the top priority||Focus is on joy, relationships, self-love|
|Hold yourself and others accountable||Practice compassion and kindness|
|Go for the best possible outcome||Soften, surrender and enjoy the process|
|Climb the mountain||Flow with the river|
|Research and get advice from those who have the answers||Follow your inner guidance, intuition and heart wisdom|
|Push and make things happen||Soften and allow things to come|
|Don’t mix personal and professional life or show your emotions||Share your feelings and connect authentically with the people you work with|
|Power suit and corporate get up to appear as professional as possible||Dressing to match who you are and what you feel comfortable in|
|Strength and persistence||Softness and the ability to rest and receive|
|Go for your desired result and exhaust absolutely all options||Trust that the outcome will be whatever is best for everyone concerned|
|The mind is directing||The heart is showing you the way|
|Attention is on generating numbers & money||Attention is on love and service|
|Delegates to create an efficient team||Delegates to create harmonious community|
Remember, we all have both masculine and feminine energy; one is not betterthan the other, rather one is often more dormantor unconsciousthan the other. We want to wake that dormant energy up and begin to embody it more in business. We want to consciously call it in and allow both energies to impact our business, because if we don’t, one approach will overpower the other.
To truly succeed in life, business and love, we need both masculine and feminine energies. The key is to keep them in balance, so they can co-exist in a healthy way. It is a give and take, symbiotic relationship. If you rely on trust alone, waiting to receive, you might be waiting for a very long time. It you rely on action alone, you may wind up exhausted.
So, ask yourself: Do you need to soften more, surrender and flow with the river, or do you need to strengthen more, push a bit harder and climb the mountain?
As a former ‘tough mother f****er’ I still see my masculine side wanting to push through at times. I need to remind myself every day:
- Soften, trust, allow, receive and listen to my intuition
- Focus on my heart and service as well as the results I want to achieve
- Take time out to fill my cup
- Have a break when I am getting tired and nurture myself with good food, intimacy, nature, rest
In my old paradigm of business, I was taught that success only came with hard work – I had to make it happen. I realise now, however, that success comes just as much from being able to trust and follow my inner guidance.
For me, awareness is everything – catching myself when I am polarising too much in masculine or feminine. When I start having an overwhelming desire to jump in quickly, to “make it happen”, to ignore the ‘stop’ signs, to push and shove, to keep climbing even when I’m exhausted, to stand in my self-righteousness and not compromise or listen; that’s when I know my feminine is asking me to slow down, stop long enough to take a breath, surrender into the flow, bring back the joy and remember that there may be an even better opportunity that I am not aware of yet. The feminine reminds me that I don’t have all the information or answers and she reminds me to relax, play and not take it all so seriously! In these moments I have a choice. I can remain in my masculine energy, continuing to do my best to make things happen, or I can listen, let go and trust.
So, the next time you are feeling confused, uncertain, bumping into dead ends, stressing, pushing, I invite you to stop, rest, let go and listen. A soft whisper of a new idea or a new direction will come… if you let go and trust.