I remember one of my first experiences with Kundalini-Ma, feeling Her against my chest as a giant serpent after a peak experience in active-meditation. She could smell my slight fear and apprehension as we lay together. I asked telepathically to look at Her face.
She said “Yes, OK”.
Though when I looked, She took the face of Old Love.
I asked Her why She did that?
She read my memories and took the face She thought I would like the most.
Without words, I said “Thankyou - but I want to see your real face”.
Without words, She said “I can show you but don’t want to scare you”.
I said “I want to see”.
Slowly She brought Her serpent eyes up to meet mine. She began as a dark purple serpent, Her timeless face opening as a sandstorm of time, like a frill-necked lizard, moving through the entire encyclopaedia of creation. From the insect realm, to the serpent faces, the amphibian faces, the big cats, the mammals, the bird tribes and all in between, all the way to the phone-book of humanity.
She could sense in my heart how this was becoming quite intense for me and was bringing up fear in my being.
I could sense She had somehow also become slightly embarrassed by this and how Her feminine was feeling a little exposed, especially to a mere human.
I made an effort to be fearless for Her, to allow Her to be fully seen.
She came back down to my chest when finished and we rested together quietly. And She took the purple serpent face again, which didn’t seem as intimidating now after seeing the face of creation.
I thought I may have been crazy, resting with a serpent on my chest. She may have thought the same.
Years later I began a tantric relationship.
We embraced in communion. Strangely, her face started to morph...I’d seen this before!
However this time she was morphing through all the faces of the women in the past whom I had subconsciously been attracted to.
It startled me, as she held my gaze and took rest upon a face which wasn’t hers. Her soul says “in one woman is all women…I can take the face of any woman for you, if that’s what you want?”.
(Maybe Kundalini-Ma is inside every woman? A thought came distantly)
It wasn’t a test. But once again, just like years earlier I said without words: “Show me your real face”.
Her serpent eyes inspected and doubted a little, so showed me the faces of my deepest desires. I fearlessly had to keep looking at her saying “show me your real face”. Eventually her face resolved on to her own but a little different. It wasn’t her personal world mask. It was her real face -
The face of Shakti, as a woman.
And I realised all she ever wanted was to be seen, literally. And when she asks the question 'what face do you want to see?' the question is actually coming from a place of doubt - that she is not fully lovable. So with all her power, she offers you what she perceives to be your deepest desires, ultimately to push you away.
End: Sacred Union
It is at the heart of human nature to care more for others than ourselves. This is why even the hardest of men soften when they bear children. Because they find something they love more than themselves and also something has come along which loves them more than they can love themselves, forcing their hearts to open and their life to shift more towards one of service.
Similarly – when a man loves a woman, or finds Sacred Union (energetic marriage) they actually surrender their own internal feminine to be reflected back to them externally via the vessel of another. So when a man is in service to their Beloved they are actually in service to their Self, finding much more self-love than they ever would have without the reflection.
And the same is true for the woman surrendering her masculine. This is what creates the upward spiral of Love – representing the two serpents rising together in the Kundalini Symbol. Surrender.